Deal breaker
by Sjokolade
Summary: The story of how Hibari was almost auctioned off by a human trafficking ring and was saved by Xanxus. Kind of. X18


**Author's note**: yikes, so this is my first attempt at an X18! This idea just had to get out…! The human auction scenario is inspired by the movie Taken, by the way, so feel free to imagine the place exactly like that. I really hope you like it, even though it has a fuckload of swearing in it (reader be warned) ;D

Oh, and the drug used in this fic is called Etorphine, a potent tranquilizer used on large mammals such as elephants (it's the same one as they use in the show Dexter).

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**Deal breaker**

**.**

Modern science holds that there are approximately 11 parallel universes co-existing at the same time. Irie Shoichi, who has had some rather urgent personal reasons to further pursue the research on this particular topic, suspects that there are an infinite, or close to infinite number of them. Gokudera, who swears to a slightly different school of thought – and, in addition, doesn't like Irie Shoichi very much – claims that there are exactly 26.

Details aside, it is commonly believed that the parallel universes must exist to handle _exceptions_.

Sawada Tsunayoshi was not a particularly scientific person, but he did have some personal experience on the matter, and as he leant back nervously in the black leather chair he thought about all the different possible outcomes of things, and wondered vaguely which universe he was in himself. He thought he might have lived in the _Real World_ up until the point where Reborn had invaded his life 3 years ago, and that his future had been branching into increasingly more bizarre universes at hyper speed since then… But this, he thought, glancing around the extravagant room, was perhaps the most solid piece of evidence he had that proved he was living in a Universe of Exceptions of Exceptions.

Because surely there could be absolutely no other universe in all conceivable realities where he, Sawada Tsunayoshi, would be _buying_ Hibari Kyouya at a human auction…

.

Team Vongola's very first mission in Europe ended up taking a massive detour, and this is how it happened. Originally their task was not remotely connected to human trafficking. At all. They were supposed to come, find and conquer a group of North African weapon smugglers who'd had the nerve to deal on Dino Cavallone's turf – and thus, in practical effect, on Vongola's turf. Because weapons were involved they had needed almost all the guardians there; including Mukuro, who had accepted the second he realized he would get to wear a waiter's uniform for the surveillance part (Rokudo Mukuro had an odd fascination for uniforms), and Hibari, who had promptly declined and then shown up anyway.

It was news to Tsuna that slavery as a trade was still a thing. Only it was apparently called trafficking now, and consisted mostly of kidnapping tourists and exploiting illegal immigrants. And so no one had thought to do a background check on the café where Hibari and Mukuro would be working undercover for the day.

(There were two reasons why this arrangement had become a viable option. One, that Reborn had promised Hibari he would get to fight Mukuro afterwards. And two, that he had warned Mukuro not to lay a finger on Hibari. The latter was in fact a long standing contract between the two that had lasted since the ring battles. Nobody knew about it and Hibari's long standing grudge towards Mukuro grew with each thwarted attempt at a confrontation.)

If they _had_ looked into it, they would perhaps have noticed the café's history of recruiting young foreigners who often disappeared shortly afterwards without a trace. But as it were the only suspicion came from Gokudera who couldn't fathom why anyone would actually hire Hibari Kyouya. _Or_ Rokudo Mukuro.

Despite his good looks, nobody tried to kidnap Mukuro. Mukuro was charming, smiley, spoke perfect Italian and up until the point where they realized that their prickly prefect was gone, he enjoyed a sun-filled day of spying and making lattes.

Hibari on the other hand didn't speak a lick of Italian, preferred to be alone a lot and was very, very beautiful. He was perfect. He was kidnapped before noon.

The owner of the café had done what he normally did and made his future source of income a cup of coffee mixed with clear vodka and Rohypnol. Then he had done it again, because Hibari had poured it unceremoniously out in the sink. He preferred green tea, and he had no manners.

Hibari's extremely low alcohol tolerance had not yet been discovered at this point, and he took roughly two sips before he fainted promptly on the spot. However, the effect didn't last very long, and the café owner's two assistants, who had carried the limp body into the back of the truck by then, quickly realized that the boy they had gotten their hands on this time didn't quite react to sedatives the way their victims usually did. A couple of roofies was usually all anyone ever needed and they wouldn't even blink their eyes until it was too late to cry uncle. And they'd dealt with boys before who probably weighed at least 30 pounds more than this kid. But Hibari's body apparently had its own way of dealing with things and he managed to sluggishly break the jaw of one of them within the first 5 seconds inside the truck.

One of them kept his own brand of date-rape drug in a small vial on the inside of his jacket – for those _special occasions_ – surely some more of those would do the trick. One didn't work, so three broken ribs and a dented truck door later they gave him the rest of it. But he kept opening his eyes, and in the end the third man had sacrificed the etorphine (elephant tranquilizer) he'd stolen from a veterinarian and had planned on selling for big money – and finally _then_, after a shot to the neck, the boy had stopped moving.

If they had been anything but hired hands, they would probably have just dropped him off or killed him already.

.

Tsuna was not alone in the room. Together with him was Dino, who was trying to maintain the appearance of being calm and collected, but whose insistent finger tapping gave him away. Two of his men stood by the doorway, one on either side. Gokudera and Yamamoto stood slightly behind Tsuna's chair, as if some subconscious instinct had ordered them to flank their boss.

"He's going to kill us for this. You know that right, 10th?" Gokudera was scowling and smoking what had to be his 15th cigarette that day. "Psychopaths do that. If you see them in a vulnerable state, they'll kill you. It's science."  
>"Aw, come on, Gokudera. Hibari's not a psychopath," said Yamamoto diplomatically. "He's just a little, err… tightly wound?"<br>"Yeah right, 'tightly wound' my ass," Gokudera rolled his eyes, "Look, I'm just saying… we don't _have_ to save him."

"Well, we can't just leave him here!" Tsuna let out a sigh of defeat, "I know he won't like it, but he _is_ my Cloud Guardian. I don't think we have any other choice."  
>"Tsuna's right," said Dino, "And besides, there's no telling what Kyouya will do in this situation. The mafia world is complicated, and if he messes things up we'll all be in trouble."<p>

The room was dimly lit, very elaborate, very exclusive, and one of many identical ones, all centered round a circular room that looked like a scene or a podium. The walls facing the center room were solid and made entirely out of a one-sided mirror that allowed for the people inside the rooms to see everything that was going on in the middle, but made it impossible for anyone to look in from the outside.

Tsuna felt immensely uncomfortable. Any minute now, some poor, unfortunate boy or girl would be pushed into that room in the middle to be scrutinized like some show animal and then sold off to the highest bidder. And there was nothing he could do to save them. They were here for one thing, and one thing only: to get _him_ back!

The truth was a small part of him actually sided with Gokudera. Perhaps it might really be a safer solution to just leave Hibari to his own devices. He suddenly hoped with every fiber of his body that Gokudera was wrong and Yamamoto right when it came to Hibari's mental condition.

The darkest corner of the room was occupied by Rokudo Mukuro, who looked uncharacteristically disheveled and yet oddly composed at the same time. And also very, very amused. He was sipping espresso like a champion in an effort to stay focused, apparently hell bent on not changing back into Chrome until he had witnessed the bizarre scenario which was about to unfold. He had not changed back once since the start of the mission and was still dressed like a waiter.  
>It was thanks to him that they had known where to find Hibari and how to get inside, but it was unclear if he had shown up to help save him or just to enjoy the show. It was hard to tell with that guy sometimes.<p>

Tsuna had all but forgotten the TV until it suddenly burst to life, startling everyone in the room. A pleasant, emotionless female voice began to speak, though it was impossible to determine where the sound was coming from. She reminded Tsuna of the voice that calls out floors in an elevator or the next stop at the train – except that instead of informing people of their next destination, she was telling them how to pay for the '_merchandize'_ and where they could collect the ones they'd bought after the show was ended.

Then the face of a girl appeared on the screen. She was perhaps a little older than Tsuna and extremely good-looking. She looked completely disoriented, as if she'd just woken up from a long, deep slumber. The female voice returned, this time introducing the girl as a 19 year old American who, she claimed, had never been touched. She didn't have to elaborate on that last comment, Tsuna understood well enough. Then the image flickered and a new girl appeared. All of them were young, thin and pretty. Some looked as confused as the first one, they had obviously been drugged, but a couple of them seemed to be painfully aware of their own predicament and had tears streaming down their smooth cheeks.

Tsuna realized that his mouth was completely dry and the reality of it all was like a rock in his chest. His tongue felt like sandpaper. He had already secretly decided to set them all free – no way he could just walk away from this like the others had suggested. But he said nothing. He needed to make sure they had Hibari before he could act.

"They'll either bring him out first or last," said Dino softly, his gaze never leaving the dark, transparent wall and the door that could just barely be seen at the other end of the circular room. "Most of these poor things are girls, so they'll either want to get the boys out of the way as soon as possible or save them for last to try and jack up the price."

"_Kufufu…_" Mukuro's perpetual smirk widened marginally, and he gulped down the rest of his probably 5th espresso. "This should be, ah, quite interesting."

Tsuna nodded and gulped. _Here goes nothing!_

.

Because of the obvious need for secrecy in a place such as this, Tsuna and the others knew nothing of who was in the room next to theirs – if they had, a lot of things would probably have gone differently…

The Varia's mission _was_, in fact, remotely connected to human trafficking. But only remotely. The man they were chasing was named Vittorio Bova. Even Mammon hadn't been able to track this guy, and to make matters more complicated he knew the Varia had a hit on him and had so far managed to evade them. However, in addition to smuggling and not paying the Italian mafia – namely the Vongola family, in this case – what he owed, he was apparently also a pervert.

According to Squalo's messy research the man was known for buying expensive prostitutes via eastern European trafficking rings. And so, forced to pursue the only real lead they had, they had set up surveillance on all the known locations where such shady business was conducted. It had taken forever, but finally they had actually found him.

Since stealth was of the utmost importance, the Varia had decided to pose as potential customers. The status of patrons granted them absolute anonymity. The entire building was actually owned by the Serbian mafia and it was used to sell people who had been tricked or abducted to people who had peculiar tastes and a lot of money. A lot.

It was the kind of place where nobody knew your real name and nobody asked questions.

From the outside it looked like an old abandoned warehouse, which was exactly what it was, but on the inside it was a different story. The entire 2nd floor had been refurnished to match the standard of a five star hotel; very tasteful, very exclusive, and the private spectator room they had been designated to resembled nothing so much as a suite.

"Vroooi! This place is nice…!"  
>"Oh, it's just like we're on vacation! Squalo, come sit here with me!"<br>"Lussuria, that chair is for the Boss!"  
>"Hmm, I wonder what these paintings are worth. Perhaps I should take them?"<br>"Oh look, they've got a mini bar! Who wants a drink?"

The Varia never went anywhere quietly.

Xanxus would have gladly pulverized the place – not so much because it disgusted him, really, he had grown up with the mafia after all, and he was hardly the caring type. But he wasn't the sit-around-and-wait kind of guy either. He was itching for a fight, and the moment he'd crammed his noisy crew of Deadly Assassins into the fancy room, he left.

"Shi shi shi, hey Boss, where're you off to?"  
>"Where do you think, shit head? I'm gonna kill our target."<br>"Like hell you are!" Squalo was on his feet immediately. "You'll blow the mission!" He managed to duck just in time as a heavy crystal vase crashed into the wall behind him. "VROOOI!"

"You assholes stay put," Xanxus growled, turning one heavy gun on each of them in turn, "Don't you fucking move." And with those parting words, which by Xanxus' standards were downright tender, he turned on his heel and disappeared.

He had planned on finding the entrance to the other spectator rooms and corner his target in there, once he found the one where Vittorio Bova was hiding. But he had no such luck. Absolute anonymity clearly included not having to worry about unwanted visitors, and there was no hallway connecting the entrances. His eyes narrowed in annoyance as his already miniscule portion of patience was running out.

"Fucking trashy place," he muttered, and slowly he began to move.

He stumbled accidentally and unexpectedly across Hibari Kyouya roughly ten minutes later.

His attempt at moving outside and around the core structure had led him to a kind of cellar and a concrete corridor lined with doors, like a prison. The doors he passed had small windows that allowed him to peer inside, and he quickly realized that he had discovered the place where they held the evening's merchandise. Most of the rooms he passed held girls. None of them were awake. Drugged, probably. He didn't care.

He was about to turn back, guessing that he must be on his way towards the circular room, the entrance to the stage, when he suddenly caught a glimpse of unusually pale skin, a mop of jet-black hair and a thin chain with a _very_ familiar ring resting against the front of a white shirt…

Xanxus stopped dead in his tracks, as if he'd hit some kind of invisible wall, and almost fell over backwards. _It can't be…?!_

A wild, crazy grin spread on his face.

.

Bel was cleaning his already flawless fingernails with a curved knife. He had no interest in what was going on in this place. Lussuria sat next to him, whining incessantly with his head propped up on his hands. The TV was showing boys' faces now. "Awww, I don't get what's so special about these skinny bitches! Not my type at all!"

Behind them Squalo and Levi were quarreling about the mini-bar, Mammon was fanning himself with a magazine and they were pretty much just waiting for their boss to return so they could get on with their actual mission. None of them were looking at the screen.

"_This Asian beauty of 17 is a live-wire, guaranteed untouched…"_

Suddenly Bel glanced up. He stared. "Hey, isn't that… Mr. Ace?"

Squalo and Levi turned their heads dumbly around to stare at the screen, where a pale, black-haired boy was looking directly back at them with apparent disinterest. Unlike the other boys, this one did not look the least bit frightened or confused, just deeply annoyed. The front of his shirt had been torn open and the camera light sparkled in his eyes – eyes they all recognized well enough.

"HOLY…!"  
>"What the – ?!"<p>

"Shi shi shi, seems like the Vongola are diversifying!"

Squalo tugged at his hair and licked his lips. "Vroooii… this is bad."  
>"Bad?"<br>"Yeah, dumbass! That kid's the Cloud Guardian. This is a _serious_ insult against the Vongola family. If a rivaling family gets a hold of that little bastard…"  
>"We're talking some major bloodshed."<br>"But the Boss isn't back yet – what should we do?"

.

Hibari had awakened with a hellacious hangover.

He didn't groan or grimace, didn't squint or blink his eyelids heavily like a normal person. There was only the slightest change of rhythm to his breathing and then his eyes were suddenly open. Had there been anyone there to observe him they might have found it both impressive and alarming at the same time, but he was alone in the room.

He had no idea where he was – it hurt to think and his memories were a jumbled up mess of flashing images and bits and pieces of smell and sound. He remembered the café, the overly friendly owner, then vaguely something about Sawada Tsunayoshi and his herbivore brigade… _Damn_ his head hurt! He had been injected with some pretty strong anesthetics and at once realized he couldn't feel his body. There was a split second of perfectly concealed panic when he had to look down very quickly make sure that it was still there, and properly attached to his head.

He was sitting on a chair in the middle of a very small room. It was more like a cell really, he observed as he glanced around; tiny, chilly and almost completely dark. There were no windows, and only a solitary, weak light bulb hung from the ceiling.

His first thought was that they had tied him up wrong. His arms were tied firmly behind his back and his legs to the chair. For one thing he could see the door, and as soon as he was able to move his legs again he would probably be able to break free quite easily. And he had been gagged, he realized, as he started to regain feeling in his mouth and pressed his tongue flat against the fabric. He rolled his eyes. _Amateurs…_

Suddenly, just as he was thinking that he'd had enough of this, the door was kicked open with a bang – so much for stealth. Hibari's head snapped up. He stared up into a scarred face, and a pair of red eyes that he recognized instantly were staring directly back at him. Hibari couldn't move his body, but his eyes widened when he saw who it was. His hair was longer now than Hibari remembered, and fell in his face in a way that almost resembled his own, but the subtle scars and intense gaze were the same.

Xanxus, the King of Monkey Mountain and firmly established nr. 2 on Hibari's Death List, gave a bark of laughter. "I knew it was you!"

"…tch! Can't even protect his own Guardians! That incompetent little loser! And a whelp like that is supposed to be the 10th generation Vongola boss? Hah! That's just too fucking sad!" Everything about his voice, the leering visage and his light movements completely contradicted his words though, and it was rather obvious that he was immensely pleased to see a sign of weakness from Sawada Tsunayoshi.

His grin widened into a cruel, mocking grimace, and in one move he tore the piece of tape roughly off Hibari's lips. Apparently Xanxus had no manners either. Or sympathy.

"Guardians?" Hibari spat out the roll of fabric that had been wedged inside his mouth. "What kind of crowding is that?" Of all the people in the world to come strutting through that door, this was perhaps the one he had expected the least.

"Hah, you can drop the act, you little piece of trash," Xanxus' vicious grin widened and he entered the room. He looked wildly pleased, like some nightmarish child in a candy store. The discovery of Sawada's crazy Cloud guardian had given him an idea, and suddenly he knew exactly how he would take out the man he was hunting.

"You can't move your body," he said smugly, stating the obvious. Carelessly he nudged Hibari with his boot, earning him an icy glare. "You wanna know why? They've given you etorphine, do you have any idea how potent that stuff is, huh?" As if to prove his point he clamped his fingers hard around Hibari's exposed neck. The gesture was almost casual, but the implications were obvious – _you're powerless_.

The look in Hibari's dark eyes was positively murderous. "_Fascinating_," he growled through gritted teeth. They stared at each other, unflinchingly.

"Is there a point to this rambling, herbivore?"

"Actually," Xanxus was still smiling that infuriating, condescending smile of his and he twisted his hand, forcing Hibari's head up and sideways into an awkward angle, his thumb pressing against the soft spot under Hibari's jaw bone. "There _is_! I'll get you out of this stinking rat-hole, but it won't be for free."

Hibari scoffed. "I don't need an herbivore."

With a wry smirk on his lips, Xanxus leant his face so close to Hibari's that the tips of his bangs touched his forehead, and said in a drawling voice, "Are you deaf, scum? I said drop the act! Do you know what they do to kids like you here? You even know what this place _is_?" Hibari did not. "You'll be sold like a dog. This is a human trafficking ring so I shouldn't have to tell you to what they'll use you for. Begging me for help is your most dignifying prospect at the moment."

There were certain words that were better left unsaid in the presence of Namimori's self-appointed juvenile dictator, and this was one of them. Hibari looked suddenly very dangerous. "…_beg_ you?"

"Do you think you're in any position to bargain with me?" Xanxus gave a snort of laughter, "You can't even move!" He planted a heavy boot on the chair right between Hibari's legs and pushed until the chair tipped back to the wall. The lonely light bulb painted a weak, shimmering halo around his head, his red eyes glittering faintly in the dark, his voice low and husky. "I can do whatever I want with you…"

In the next heartbeat he had whipped out one of his heavy guns and was pointing it straight at Hibari's forehead, right where his third eye would've been if he'd had one. Then he lowered it, slowly, until the surface of the hard, sharp muzzle scraped against the flawless whiteness of the boy's sternum, hard enough to break the skin. Little droplets of blood appeared, seeping into the stiff, papery fabric of his shirt. Hibari didn't so much as bat an eyelid – Xanxus would die a thousand deaths at his hands for this unforgivable humiliation. Vaguely he thought that he was rather looking forward to it already.

The gun tugged at the topmost button and Hibari followed it with his eyes until it popped off and flew in a small arch. Quickly followed by a second, a third… they clattered to the dirty floor and then the front of his shirt slid open to expose the panes and lines of his chest and taut stomach.

Xanxus took a moment to study him, though it was hard to say whether he was admiring the sight or trying to decide which part of Hibari to blow open first. In his current state there was little Hibari could do but glare, but he definitely did not like the advantage Xanxus had towering over him like this.

"We're after a guy named Vittorio Bova," he said suddenly. "Asshole's elusive as hell and even that greedy little piece of shit Mammon can't track him down. He knows the Varia's got a hit on him, but he doesn't know _you_," here he stabbed Hibari in the front with his gun, "and we know he'll be here. Guy's a frickin' perv."

"You two should get along well then," drawled Hibari, glaring demonstratively down his own exposed front. He sounded completely disinterested despite the fact that 3 scarce minutes of compliance, give or take, might be the one thing that could save him from a lifetime's worth of humiliation. Human trafficking, Xanxus had said – so he'd been kidnapped, then. Someone would die for this, he decided, might as well start with the monkey.

"I told you, I don't need an herbivore." Hibari jerked his legs and managed to tear off the frayed ropes. They'd done a sloppy job, just as he'd thought. "I've no reason to help you," he said matter-of-factly, his voice smooth and calm, closing his eyes lazily, "Unless you wanna fight you can get lost."

This response and the arrogance in that deceptively lovely face was quite enough to piss Xanxus off. He was _not_ someone to be dismissed easily. "You fucking piece of trash," the look he sent Hibari could have scared a wolf, and the gun point was returned back up to Hibari's eye level with a jerk.

"Do you think I won't kill you just because the Varia works for that useless little boss of yours? Huh?! Do you feel _safe_?"

While Hibari and Xanxus were perhaps more alike than either of them were remotely qualified to recognize – it was this, their furious rage, that set them truly apart.

Xanxus' eyes were spitting fire, red and vicious, his teeth were bared in a sneer and the muscles underneath his thin shirt were tight like violin strings.  
>"Safe?" Hibari's glare, on the other hand, was ice cold, dark and challenging,<p>

"What kind of spineless philosophy is that? You're the worthless bottom feeder who couldn't even take on that herbivore, Sawada Tsunayoshi."

That was when Xanxus finally snapped for real. Hibari, of course, didn't know that it was strictly taboo to bring up this incident in front of the Varia boss. But even if he'd known he would probably not have cared.

Suddenly Xanxus' hand flashed out and hit Hibari hard across the face, with enough force behind it to send him crashing backwards onto the dirty floor. Hibari's jaw went completely numb, then began to tingle. At least his sensory impulses seemed to be returning, and that was nice. Xanxus stood over him, his dark eyes blazing, and when Hibari tried to struggle up he planted the sole of his heavy boot square in his crotch and shoved hard. A lick of pain shot through him – yes, whatever sedatives they had put in him the effects were definitely starting to wear off.

He lashed out his foot in retaliation and hit Xanxus square in the shin as hard as he could muster in his diminished state. But his body was still too slow, his limbs like lead, and all he managed to do was to further piss off Xanxus, who was over him in a second. His big hands like vises around Hibari's thin wrists, pinning him to the stained floor, trapping him there. He felt delicate bones grind together hard, too hard.

Their faces were so close now they could have kissed. Xanxus' breath was hot and came in sharp bursts, his wrath was a terrible, dangerous thing. But Hibari did not care about danger the way other people did, and he did not let go of Xanxus' gaze.

He was filled by a rushing sense of bloodlust, he wanted to fight, maim, _bite_, and in the back of his mind he realized that this was the most alive he had felt in a very, very long time. He longed for his body to wake up so he could properly bite this man to death, it would be such an enjoyable fight he was sure.

"_I_ should have been the 10th!" Hibari's slender frame was slammed forcefully into the floor, making him gasp. Xanxus was too heavy, it was crushing him. "It's in my name, in my _power_! I'm even born on the 10th day of the 10th month – it should have been _me_!"  
>"Wow, how very special," Hibari forced out in a raspy breath, "I'm born on the 5th day of the 5th month. What does that make me?"<p>

Xanxus moved to strike him again, but his body was pressed hard against Hibari's now and Hibari sensed the muscles flexing and was prepared. With both hands tied together behind his back there wasn't much he could do, but in a fight Hibari Kyouya was never out of options.

He bit.

Quickly, like a rattle snake, his head shot up and his teeth closed around Xanxus' lower lip, the closest thing, and bit down hard.

Taken completely by surprise Xanxus gave a grunt of pain and jerked backwards. He wiped the blood from his mouth. Apparently it had also been enough to break his enraged trance, because instead of attacking he leant back until he was straddling the boy and there was something different in the way he looked at him now.

Winded, Hibari coughed for air and gave him a small, cold smile. There was blood on his teeth.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, Xanxus threw his head back and gave a bark of laughter. "Hahaha! Fuck, you're crazy!"

Xanxus' impression of the Vongola group had been that of a small, tight-knit group, where each Guardian's personality somehow mirrored and amplified that of Sawada Tsunayoshi – kind, honest, self-sacrificing and dearly devoted. Quite the opposite of his own Varia crew, in other words.

But this kid…

"Why do you hang around with that loser gang?" he asked, suddenly curious as he attempted to rub off the blood that was still streaming from his lip. Measured purely by skill, this guy was probably pretty close to Varia standard, and equally as bloodthirsty. Deep in the back of his mind Xanxus thought, vaguely, how nice it would be to have someone around who _didn't_ talk, roared or giggled all the time. _And_ was good for a fight.

"I don't know what you mean," Hibari replied smugly. His hair formed a black halo on the dirty floor. "I go wherever I please." It looked like darkness trying to crawl out of his scalp, away from that pretty face.

Xanxus pushed the muzzle of his gun thoughtfully against the underside of Hibari's chin, hard, forcing him to twist his face sideways. Neither of them looked away.

Then Xanxus stood up. "…tch! Fine, you can rot for all I care!"

For a brief moment, his expression was replaced by dark amusement again as he placed his boot between Hibari's sprawled, unresisting legs, forcing them further apart. "Too bad. You were kind of hot."

"Wait."

Xanxus didn't turn around, but he stopped. "I don't care about your help," said Hibari. His eyes were dark and calm now, calculating.

"But there is something I want…"

.

By the time Hibari Kyouya entered the stage, Tsuna was already cringing in his seat and had both hands planted firmly over his big eyes. He simply couldn't bear to watch – the fact that he couldn't save any of these people _right now _was killing him.

"Guaranteed untouched, hmm?" Mukuro gave Dino a sideways look. "Is that something verified by you, Cavallone?"  
>"Funny," muttered Dino through gritted teeth, "I was just about to ask you the same thing, you sneaky little creep." They had been at it for some time now, sliding each other snide comments like that. Behind them Gokudera was rolling his eyes. "Oh knock it off, will ya! If it had been either of you, you'd be <em>dead<em>," he said dryly and added, "and I don't have that kind of luck…"

When it became Hibari's turn, he sensed it before he saw him, like a prickling sensation in the back of his neck. Tsuna wasn't sure what he'd expected, but he felt a wave of tremendous relief when his reluctant Cloud guardian came sauntering in, acting for all the world as if he owned the place. This was pretty much his usual way of entering anywhere. "Hibari…!" _He's safe!_

He moved with a sort of careless grace and took only the exact number of steps necessary to reach the center. There he stopped and crossed his arms in a bored-looking fashion, casting a slow, lazy gaze around the room. As if he couldn't have cared less about where he was or what was happening.

"Kyouya!" Next to him, Dino almost fell out of his chair. He had obviously been really worried.  
>"Ahaha, it looks like he's OK!" Yamamoto laughed, which earned him an icy glare from Gokudera. "'OK'? <em>'OK'?!<em> Do you even know what kind of place this is, retard?" But he too looked relieved.

Like all the others Hibari was only wearing underwear, but very much unlike the others this lack of clothing was pretty much the only adjustment to his appearance. There were no smudges of make up on his face, no jewelry, no shimmering oil on his skin, and the underwear was plain black and probably his own. Tsuna suspected that nobody had dared to come near him after he'd woken up. The only adornment Hibari had on him was a thin, glittering chain that hung loosely around his waist, like a lop-sided belt.

And… was that a bruise on his neck?

"They're about to start the bidding," Dino said in a hushed voice, interrupting Tsuna's thoughts, "Here goes nothing!"

The auction was held like this. Each participant was allowed to place one bid pr. round, which was then instantly shown on the constantly updating TV screen, and the highest bid was announced out loud at the end of each round by the female voice.

Already after the first bidding round the sum on the TV screen was actually quite high. Hibari's fearless attitude had apparently made an impression. Or perhaps his natural beauty was simply a lot easier to take in for someone who'd never been on the receiving end of his tonfa. The second round went, and then the third. This was as far as the bidding had gone for the previous two boys – girls were, unsurprisingly, more popular and thus more expensive – and Team Vongola held the highest bid.

In a way, Tsuna felt that they were doing the other buyers a favor by taking back his Cloud guardian. From an objective standpoint yes, Hibari was strikingly good looking, but Tsuna really couldn't think of anyone who'd be able to handle him. He realized he'd been holding his breath and was halfway through a sigh of relief, when suddenly the number on the screen changed.

Round 4 had begun!

"Wow, Hibari's really popular, huh!"  
>"Shut up, baseball head." Gokudera clamped a hand around Tsuna's shoulder, no doubt in an attempt to seem reassuring. "Don't worry, 10th, I'll bet this is the last round! Then we can get him and get out." He seemed to have completely forgotten about his own somber predictions from earlier.<p>

But after round 4 had ended, there was only the briefest pause before once again the number on the TV suddenly started increasing further, and it became clear that the bidding war for Hibari was not over yet.

"What the –?!" Gokudera's jaw dropped. "Oh you've gotta be kidding me. _Him_?"  
>In the corner, Mukuro's shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter. He, at least, was immensely amused and not the least bit concerned. "<em>Kufufu…<em> better hurry up, Vongola, Mr. Head Prefect out there is beginning to look impatient."

"N-never mind that," Tsuna stuttered, _what's going on? _Was Hibari really that special? "Umh, we'll just have to… bid higher!"

Then round 6 began…

.

"Vrooooi! Who the hell wants to fuck this son of a bitch so badly?" Squalo was tugging at his hair in frustration.  
>"Hmm, whoever it is, they're not giving up," said Bel, jabbing his thumb at the screen where the number on display kept increasing. It was now Round 8 and it was starting to get ridiculous.<p>

"I don't get it at all," huffed Lussuria, crossing his arms in an annoyed fashion. "He isn't _that_ hot! Right? Right, Squalo? Levi?"  
>"Shut up! Just keep bidding, we can't let anyone else take him or we'll be in deep shit! And where the hell is the boss?!"<p>

At that exact moment, the door was slammed open and in the doorway stood Xanxus like an angel of vengeance, guns out, with a torn lip and smudges of blood on his shirt.

"Boss!"

"VROOOI! Where the FUCK have you been?! We're in crisis mode here!"

Ignoring Squalo, Xanxus kicked Levi out of the chair he was sitting in, even though the other seat was empty and slumped down. When he saw Hibari out on the podium, he grinned.

"Hey boss," giggled Bel, "Look who we found…!"

.

"What the hell?! Who's outbidding us?"

Gokudera's voice was practically cracking. The number on the TV screen, the current price for Hibari Kyouya in Round 9, was beginning to look absurd. While there was no denying that Hibari was indeed very good looking, this bidding competition was growing completely out of proportions.  
>"Err, maybe someone has a big thing for Asians?" Yamamoto suggested weakly.<p>

Suddenly Tsuna wrinkled his brow, something had just occurred to him. "Something's not right," he muttered, almost to himself.  
>"What do you mean?" Dino's eyes were practically glued to the screen where the asking price was still rising.<br>"I don't know, but…" Tsuna hesitated, "Something's up. Look, he looks just like… he looks like _Hibari_!"  
>"Yes?" Dino looked up, he didn't follow at all.<br>"Yes, so why is he just standing there? Wouldn't it be more like him to, you know," Tsuna scratched the back of his neck uncertainly, "Attack and leave?"

And just then there was the sound of a gunshot and Tsuna thought that he really hated being right sometimes. The first shot was quickly followed by second, shattering first the glass wall of the room right next to Team Vongola's and then the one directly opposite, leaving a gaping black hole in all the golden yellow reflections.  
>Suddenly things were happening very quickly! As if on cue, Hibari had wrapped the thin bejeweled chain around his fist like a set of sparkling knuckles and disappeared in through the hole. They heard shouting, more gunshots were fired and then a man's scream.<p>

If someone had been able to look in through the mirror at Tsuna and the others just then, they might have mistaken the sight for a still photography. Nobody moved a muscle.

It lasted perhaps 3 heartbeats – on the fourth, Hibari came striding back out, wearing his trademark scowl. Only he didn't come out alone… In his grip hung a corpulent, middle-aged man, groaning and tugging weakly at his neck tie, which was what he was being dragged by, like it was some super-expensive noose. Then Hibari slung him unceremoniously down onto the floor in the middle of the room and folded his arms defiantly across his chest.

.

By the time they reached him, the Varia was already there and Xanxus stood tall and smirking over Hibari, who glared back at him with a vicious little curl to his pale lips.

"Vroooi! Head still attached I see."  
>"Shi shi shi, hello, Vongola," a low, silky voice spoke from behind them. "Long time no see!"<p>

"Ah! The Varia?!"  
>"The hell are you assholes doing here?" grumbled Gokudera sourly, then, "…tch! Figures you'd be into this stuff."<p>

"What?" squealed Lussuria, deeply offended by the suggestion, "None of these skinny sluts are my type at all, you know!"  
>"Ah, we're not out shopping today," said Bel, fingering absentmindedly with a throwing knife. "Actually Mr. Ace has been doing us a little favor. All he wanted in return was a fight."<p>

"A… a fight?" Tsuna wrinkled his brow. Well, that's what Hibari always wanted, but… this was the Varia! "What do you mean, 'fight'?" _Or rather, with whom?_

"He refused to accept our boss' gracious offer to rescue him in return for taking down our target," muttered Mammon. "He said he'd only do it in return for a one-on-one with the boss. Something about unfinished business. What a weird guy!"  
>"Ah yes," Mukuro pretended to be studying his nails, "he is quite persistent when it comes to unfinished business."<p>

Tsuna was almost afraid to ask, "Umh, what kind of favor, exactly?"  
>"The Varia's got a hit on that old geezer that got taken out just now by Cloud-boy. Vittorio Bova. He's been hard to track, but we had this one chance of getting him. Unfortunately he knows about us, so we decided to get creative."<p>

Hibari and… Xanxus? Tsuna gave an involuntary shudder as the terrible vision of those two together flashed through his mind. But it was no vision that was in front of him right now. It was very real, and the crackling tension in the air was proof of it.  
>It was also telling that the two of them had completely ignored the arrival of their respective teams.<p>

At least it wasn't Tsuna Xanxus was staring at. Xanxus' visage looked as intimidating as ever, but the muscles of his scarred arms were flexing almost imperceptibly under the thin cloth of his blood spattered shirt.

And… wait, why was there blood on it? Tsuna's gaze trailed up to the gash on his lower lip. Were those… teeth marks?

He suddenly decided he didn't want to know.

"Are we done?" drawled Hibari. "I fulfilled my part of the deal, now it's your turn. Brace yourself, herbivore." The scene might have looked comical considering that he was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts. But even like this Hibari Kyouya somehow managed to look intimidating.  
>"You don't even have your weapons, you piece of shit, what're you gonna do?" growled Xanxus.<br>"Why don't you find out? After I've crushed your monkey head to smithereens."

Xanxus grin was as terrifying as Hibari's when the muzzle of his gun clanked against Hibari's bejeweled fist. "Back the fuck down, I've no intension of fighting you in here. You're coming with me."

"Don't wanna," Hibari responded with a lopsided smirk, "I fight wherever I feel like it."

"I just _bought_ you, you slimy piece of trash," countered Xanxus and threw a piece of paper at him.

_Bought you…?_ Tsuna stared, completely dumbfounded. He had a terrible sense of foreboding. _Someone who'd be able to handle Hibari… No, no no no!_ Squalo and Dino, he noticed wore mirror expressions of horror and for the second time that day Tsuna thought to himself that yes, he did indeed live in the Universe of Exceptions of Exceptions.

Hibari swiped the papers gracefully before the hit his face and began to read. He frowned, but then he closed his eyes in a resigned fashion and handed them back with a single nod of approval. "Hm. Papers are in order. Let's go, low-life, I haven't got all day."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: I had waaaay too much fun with this XD I haven't written anything in a very, very long time. I'd almost forgotten how much I enjoyed it.

I really hope you liked the story – reviews would be EXTREMELY welcome!


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